One-Minute Melee: Ice Bear VS Polar Bear
by Orange Ratchet
Summary: Grizz, Panda and Ice Bear have traveled to Japan to fix their Blu-Ray Player, but must first get some lunch at Polar Bear's Café. But due to the language barrier, when Ice Bear and Polar Bear agree to a friendly spar, Grizz and Panda misunderstand it as the two fighting for a right for the brothers to stay! What will happen? Based off Hyper Gauge's One-Minute Melees!


DISCLAIMER TIME! I don't own We Bare Bears, which belongs to Daniel Chong and Cartoon Network, or Shirokuma Café, which belongs to Aloha Higa! I also don't own the concept of 1 Minute Melee, which belongs to Hyper Gauge!

All right, time for the bears fight I was planning on doing for a long time... for one, I figured a stoic polar bear fight would be pretty awesome, and who could better fit as opponents than Ice Bear and... Polar Bear! Now, if you're wondering what Shirokuma's Café is, well, it's actually an anime series. It hasn't been translated to a dub, and most likely will never be translated to a dub, mostly due to how it uses a lot of Japanese wordplay for puns. If you're curious about this show, I would recommend checking it out on Crunchyroll. It's actually a fun show, it's sort of like 'Cheers' with animals and humans walking together in the same world. Well, anyway, let's get to this melee! Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

 **1 Minute Melee!  
Where even locking eyes on someone will force them to fight!  
Two fighters! Sixty seconds! And MAYBE one victor!**

 ** _GO!_**

* * *

 **(Tokyo, Japan, Streets)**

A group was gathering around the street as some of them appeared to be watching five magical girls duking it out against five other magical girls.

 _"What a battle! Those Sailor Scouts and Mew Mews are seemingly trying to destroy each other!"_ One of the men stated as Sailor Moon took off her tiara and threw it towards Mew Ichigo, who yelped as she ducked.

 _"You said it, man! I mean, whoever is not paying attention to this battle is either foreign or not even knowing the story behind this battle!"_ Another person said as Mew Pudding did a backflip on Sailor Mars back, biting her in the neck.

 _"HEY! That hurt, you kid!"_ Sailor Mars growled at Mew Pudding.

 _"Hey, you tried to get in Mew Mew business, you could have stayed out of it!"_ Mew Zakuro said as she used her whip to whip Sailor Mars's back.

As the ten girls were fighting amongst each other in the crowd, none of them noticed three bears were walking nearby... well, a polar bear carrying a panda carrying a grizzly bear on his back walking by in a stack as the grizzly bear was reading directions on a map.

"Man, these Japanese words are so confusing." The Grizzly bear muttered as he tried to read the map upside down. "I mean, I know there's some words in English, but all the Japanese, man!"

"Grizz, I know it's confusing, but you said that we had to go to the source to get our new Blu-Ray player fixed..." The panda bear, named Panda, sighed.

"And it said, 'Made in Japan', so we got there... thanks to our awesome bro!" Grizz smiled, as he and Panda looked down towards the polar bear on the bottom.

"Ice Bear knows a lot of friends." The polar bear, known as Ice Bear, nodded.

"Look, Pan-Pan, you read more manga more than me, so maybe you can make sense of this map..." Grizz said as he handed the map down to Panda.

"Hate to break the news to you, Grizz, but even though you're right about me liking manga, I only read the English dubs!" Panda said in worry as he gave the map to Ice Bear, who seemed to be reading it just fine.

Grizz sighed as he shook his head, before he looked over. "Oh, look at that."

Panda and Ice Bear followed Grizz's gaze as the three noticed the fight between the ten girls going on.

 _"SUPREME THUNDER!"_ Sailor Jupiter screamed as a barrage of lightning bolts came down on Mew Mint, who growled as she summoned her MinTone arrows.

 _"RIBBON MINT ECHO!"_ Mint shouted as a light arrow shot past Sailor Jupiter, making her yelp as she ducked.

The three bears, watching this, didn't understand what was going on as Grizz smiled, "Wow, what a show! Too bad I can't understand their language, though!"

"Yeah... it looks like a Magical Girl fight you see in animes!" Panda said. "Too bad those aren't the real thing..."

Ice Bear shook his head as the three continued on their way, via the bear stack walk as they kept going.

As they kept walking, Panda heard his stomach growl as he groaned. "Man, I don't think I've eaten in quite a while..."

Grizz heard his stomach growl as well as he nodded, "Neither have I... tell you what, the first place we find English words to is where we're eating!"

"Deal!" Panda nodded.

"Ice Bear could use a bite." Ice Bear said as the three continued their walk.

* * *

 **(Polar Bear's Café)**

Inside a nice, quaint café with atmosphere, a polar bear with a blue scarf and black apron was working behind the counter as two of his customers sitting at the front of the counter, a penguin and a panda bear, as the penguin was groaning in frustration.

 _"What's wrong, Mr. Penguin?"_ The panda bear, known as Panda, asked.

 _"I don't know what I'm going to do... I need some more confidence... I want to ask my special penguin out, but I just... can't find it in me to approach her!"_ Penguin groaned. _"I just don't understand. I got a license, I'm trying to get dating tips. How can I get a girl like Miss Penko to like me?"_

The polar bear in the blue apron turned to Penguin as he said, _"You know, Penguin, they say your problems can be solved within you."_

Penguin's mouth dropped in shock as he glared at Polar Bear. _"What kind of logic is that, Polar Bear!"_

 _"I don't know, Penguin... it kind of does sound like sound advice."_ A girl in a red bandana, a white collared shirt with a black vest and a black apron, black jeans and black shoes came in with a large serving of bamboo and an iced coffee.

 _"Thanks, Miss Sasako!"_ Panda said happily to the woman as he picked up a stick of bamboo and started gnawing on it.

 _"I just don't know... I mean, it just gets on my nerves!"_ Penguin complained.

Polar Bear stopped short as he looked excited. _"Nerves_ (shinkei)?"

Polar Bear then ducked behind the counter and came back out... dressed up as a professor holding up a chalkboard and showing off some math problems.

 _"That's a teacher_ (sensei)!" Penguin said, rather annoyed that Polar Bear was doing puns again.

Polar Bear ducked behind the counter again, and came back, this time, wearing gym clothes and looking like he was ready to run.

 _"That's training_ (rensei)!" Penguin said, getting frustrated.

Polar Bear ducked behind the counter again, and came back out, this time, holding up a picture of a tree to point out members of his family.

 _"That's family lineage_ (kakei)!" Penguin groaned. _"I said I was getting on my nerves, and you're not helping with your puns!"_

Before any conversation could continue forward, all four of them heard a door opening as everyone turned in curiosity to see bears coming in.

"Finally, something with English we could read!" Grizz sighed in relief as he got off of Panda (WBB), as he then got off of Ice Bear. Panda (WBB) looked up, and shook his head upon seeing Panda (SKC). The two made eye contact with each other for a brief moment as they tilted their heads, examining the bears.

"What a strange looking panda..." Panda (WBB) said.

"Oh, don't worry about our seats, we got it." Grizz smiled as he, Panda (WBB) and Ice Bear sat down.

Sasako smiled as she went over to the three bears. _"Hello, and welcome to Polar Bear's Café! My name is Miss Sasako, and I will be your waitress today. May I take your order?"_

Grizz, Panda (WBB) and Ice Bear looked at the girl in confusion as Grizz then said, "Uh, sorry, ma'am, but I'm afraid we don't know what you're saying."

Panda was looking over the menu as he blinked. "Great, all of it is in Japanese..."

Sasako chuckled nervously as she turned to Panda (WBB). _"May I recommend to you the large serving of bamboo? Our resident panda here orders it every day."_

Panda (SKC) looked up in interest. _"Are you referring to me, Miss Sasako?"_

Miss Sasako ignored Panda (SKC) as she pointed to the bamboo item on the menu. Panda (WBB) looked closely as he frowned. "Yeah, tried bamboo, it was awful. Didn't like it."

Ice Bear tapped Sasako on the shoulder and repeated the phrase in Japanese. Sasako stared in surprise as did Grizz and Panda (WBB) in confusion. Sasako then gave a nervous chuckle. _"Er, I'm sorry, I didn't know."_

"Dude, I think you're making her nervous." Grizz said to Ice Bear as Ice Bear shook his head, as if he knew what he was doing.

 _"What's going on?"_ Polar Bear asked, looking up in confusion.

 _"Can we get back to my problems, please!"_ Penguin complained.

Sasako turned and chuckled nervously. _"The panda sitting next to the grizzly bear and polar bear says the panda said he doesn't like bamboo, tasted terrible."_

That caused Panda (SKC) to lift his head in shock as he held his head. _"Who in their right mind hates bamboo?"_

 _"Let me take care of this guy."_ Polar Bear said as he went over to the three bears.

Grizz looked at Polar Bear nervously as he smiled. "Er, hello sir."

Polar Bear then turned towards Ice Bear as he got to his ice level. _"I take it you three are foreign to this town."_

 _"Of course. You are a fellow Ice Bear?"_ Ice Bear repeated in Japanese.

 _"Polar Bear, and yes."_ Polar Bear laughed a bit.

Grizz and Panda (WBB) frowned as they looked at each other, Panda (WBB) turning to Ice Bear. "Dude, I think that's the manager. Whatever you're telling him, I think he's mad."

 _"You must be the caretaker of these two. I'm friends with a grizzly bear and panda bear myself."_ Polar Bear smiled.

 _"Ice Bear is more or less caretaker for brothers."_ Ice Bear explained.

 _"Oh, so you're brothers. That's nice to hear."_ Polar Bear smiled. _"You look like the type of person who can cook..."_

 _"Ice Bear has made some fine dishes."_ Ice Bear said as Grizz and Panda (WBB) looked on in worry.

 _"Hmmm... I'd like to see that in action."_ Polar Bear said in interest.

 _"...Does fellow Ice Bear have an interest in fighting?"_ Ice Bear asked, in curiosity.

"What are they saying?" Panda (WBB) asked.

"I don't know. They're speaking the language I don't even know! Why did we not study Japanese!" Grizz groaned.

 _"Perhaps I've had. Why do you ask?"_ Polar Bear asked.

 _"Fellow Ice Bear seems to be pretty tough... and was wondering if you'd like to participate with Ice Bear in a fight?"_ Ice Bear said.

Polar Bear's eyes twinkled in interest as he said, _"Fight_ (Tataki)?"

But then, much to Grizz, Panda (WBB) and Ice Bear's confusion, the waiter polar bear was now dressed up in pajamas as he held up a few movies and sleeping bag.

 _"That's a sleepover_ (taizai)!" Penguin glared at Polar Bear.

Polar Bear then ran out of the room and came back with a water pump and a bucket as he started to push the pump down, water coming out of it and going into the bucket.

 _"That's irrigation_ (kangai)!" Penguin yelled at Polar Bear.

Polar Bear ran off, and then came out with the Mona Lisa and a paint brush, giving a happy smile.

 _"That's exhibition_ (tenjikai)!" Penguin got frustrated at Polar Bear.

Grizz then whispered to Panda (WBB), "Pan Pan, do you have any idea what the heck is going on?"

"I... I'm not sure." Panda (WBB) said in worry as he turned to Ice Bear. "Listen, thanks for trying to calm this, but I think this is going nowhere..."

Polar Bear then got serious for a moment as he pulled out a katana. _"I will accept your challenge."_

Ice Bear gave a fellow smirk as he pulled out his axe.

"...whoa-oh-kay, it looks like we've gotten a little out of hand..." Grizz said nervously. "Bro, you better hope we can get free food out of this."

"...how did he sneak his axe from San Francisco to Tokyo?" Panda (WBB) said in shock.

 _"...did Polar Bear always keep a katana on him?"_ Penguin asked in surprise.

 _"I... I'm not sure..."_ Sasako sweatdropped. _"Panda, what do you-"_

Sasako then turned as she and Penguin noticed that Panda (SKC) had, once again, fallen asleep during a conversation.

With that, the customers could only watch as both Polar Bear and Ice Bear walked out of the café and out in the field, where it would be a little more safer than messing up the café.

 _"Are you ready?"_ Polar Bear asked, waving his katana.

 _"Ice Bear was born ready."_ Ice Bear smirked, ready for battle.

 **DID THE TEMPERATURE DROP, OR IS IT JUST ME?  
ENGAGE!**

 **(60 Seconds)**

Ice Bear began the battle by running ahead, holding his axe on the ready as he charged straight. He then turned the ax to the side, being careful not to slice Polar Bear's head off.

Polar Bear saw it coming as he grabbed the axe and slid it off Ice Bear's hands. Polar Bear then gave a slight smirk as Ice Bear turned in confusion. Ice Bear's eyes widened as Polar Bear then threw the axe aside, as did his katana.

Ice Bear frowned as he pulled out some ninja stars and started throwing some at him. Polar Bear examined the ninja stars and started to gracefully duck behind them.

Ice Bear looked surprise as he examined his opponent. From the looks of it, Polar Bear seemed pretty durable.

 **(50 Seconds)**

Polar Bear then gave a slow walk to Ice Bear as Ice Bear was searching for more ninja stars. Once Ice Bear found a couple more in his pocket, Polar Bear immediately grabbed Ice Bear's paw and started to go into a modern dance with him.

Ice Bear looked in shock, but was blushing at the same time as Ice Bear and Polar Bear seemed to be twirling around with each other.

Grizz and Panda (WBB) looked in shock as Panda pulled out his cell phone and started recording the fight.

Ice Bear frowned as he managed to get out of Polar Bear's wrath and threw some more ninja stars at the other polar bear.

 **(40 Seconds)**

Polar Bear, now randomly in a blindfold and holding a stick, was batting the ninja stars away as Ice Bear looked on in surprise. Polar Bear then started to go in a straight line towards Ice Bear while blindfolded to whack him with the stick.

 _"How is fellow Ice Bear knowing where Ice Bear is at?"_ Ice Bear asked.

 _"I may be blindfolded, but I can still use my sense of smell."_ Polar Bear explained.

Ice Bear nodded as he used his feet to kick Polar Bear in the stomach, surprising him. Polar Bear instantly held his stomach as he backed away.

Panda (SKC) gasped as he had just woke up. _"Polar Bear!"_

 **(30 Seconds)**

Ice Bear gave a smirk as he hopped up into a cherry blossom tree and started jumping from branch to branch as he jumped down next to Polar Bear, this time, holding some nunchaku. Ice Bear then whacked Polar Bear on the head with the swinging move every time he tried to lift his head.

On the third hit, Polar Bear had decided he had enough as he grabbed Ice Bear by his legs and started to pile-drive him to the ground.

Ice Bear yelped in surprise as he tried to crawl out of the way, but Polar Bear grabbed Ice Bear and swung him around for a while. Ice Bear tried his best not to get dizzy before he felt himself being thrown towards a branch.

"Man, this is so good!" Grizz said in interest as Panda (WBB) was still recording.

 **(20 Seconds)**

Ice Bear then used his hands to grab the branch as he started swinging back and going forward with a strong kick ready for Polar Bear. Polar Bear looked in surprise as he tried to duck, but to no avail as Ice Bear struck him on the head.

Polar Bear, shocked by the surprise kick, held his head woozily as Ice Bear landed safely. Ice Bear then turned around and threw a couple more ninja stars as Polar Bear tried to gracefully duck... but one of the ninja stars struck him on the head as Polar Bear groaned. Ice Bear gave a smile, knowing he had worn this polar bear waiter down.

 **(10 Seconds)**

Ice Bear took a few deep breaths as Polar Bear tried to get up, trying to recover.

 _"Uh-oh..."_ Sasako said in worry.

 _"I can't watch."_ Penguin said, covering his eyes.

Panda (SKC) could only watch with wide eyes as Panda (WBB) was still recording on his phone.

"You go, bro!" Grizz called as Ice Bear was ready.

 **(5...)**

Ice Bear began to run towards Polar Bear, one of his feet ready to kick him.

 **(4...)**

Polar Bear held his head, as if trying to hold himself up. He knew Ice Bear was coming, but he didn't know how much he could hold.

 **(3...)**

Polar Bear held up his hand, as if ready to strike.

 **(2** **...)**

Ice Bear got close, ready to kick Polar Bear down...

 **(1...)**

But before either bear could land an attack... Polar Bear just fell down, the exhaustion of the battle wearing him out. Ice Bear just stared down in shock, wondering what just happened, the timer having disappeared.

"Ice Bear pretty sure he didn't kick this guy down." Ice Bear said as the others came over.

"Hey, bro, you all right?" Grizz asked. "Whew, what a fight!"

 _"Polar Bear, speak to me! You okay?"_ Panda (SKC) asked, upon looking at his down friend.

Polar Bear's eyes opened... as he sat up, smiling. _"I'm fine, Panda."_

 _"Polar Bear!"_ Panda (SKC), Penguin and Sasako sighed in relief.

Ice Bear looked at Polar Bear in surprise as he asked, _"Wait, fellow Ice Bear was fine?"_

 _"Of course. I knew I couldn't beat you in a fight, so... I just gave up. Hope you're fine with it."_ Polar Bear smiled.

 _"Ice Bear thinks it's cheap... but if it has to be like that..."_ Ice Bear sighed.

 _ **K...O?**_

 _"Thanks for the battle. I truly had fun."_ Polar Bear smiled as he bowed.

 _"It was my pleasure."_ Ice Bear bowed and gave a smile back.

The others then turned to see Grizz dancing around in celebration as Panda (WBB) was looking online.

"Oh yeah, let's get that free food! Whoo hoo!" Grizz said, dancing around happily.

Everyone just looked at Grizz and Panda (WBB) oddly as Sasako asked, _"Your brothers are very strange."_

Ice Bear could only shrug at this.

 **This melee's winner is...**

 ** _ICE BEAR_**

* * *

 _ **NEXT TIME, ON SEASON 2 OF ONE MINUTE MELEE...**_

 _ **One thing to say about this match... someone's bound to be 'BONE'-d.**_

* * *

And that's it for this One-Minute Melee match! How'd you guys like it? Do you have any criticisms or good comments to say? Leave it in your reviews! Also, if you have any suggestions for One-Minute Melees, please leave it in your reviews, PMs, or if you're on Deviantart and you've seen them on my profile, comment a One-Minute Melee you'd like to see! Maybe I'll put it in my next season! Anyway, thank you all for reading this, have a great day!


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